A delirious ramble about The Mass Effect 3 official launch trailer

In which I try to be professional and objective about a marketing product, only to be foiled by my easily-led sci-fi loving brain.

I am possibly the biggest sucker in the world for any trailer containing the following:

  • Spaceships.
  • Spaceships with big guns.
  • Big spaceships with big guns.
  • Epic space battles.
  • Space.
  • Stirring music.
  • Stirring music accompanying epic space battles in space.
  • More space.
  • Heroic last-stands.
  • Giant ancient horrors devouring all that is good and pure.

All these elements have an uncanny ability to bypass the Cynicism Cordon around my brain and dive straight into the pleasure centres. To my squealing fan-boyish delight the official Mass Effect 3 launch trailer has all these and more.

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A score of familiar faces from Mass Effect’s previous two instalments flash before our eyes between scenes of epic, dynamic imagery. There’s Legion, Tali, Mordin, Garrus, Wrex, The Citadel Council and Liara are a few. Even The Illusive Man voiced by Martin Sheen pops up to do a bit of posturing, and of course there’s a polite request from the fucking godlike Lance “Not bad for a human” Henriksen, in the role of Admiral “Yes sir! Right away sir!” Hackett to save the god-damned galaxy. Gods, I could watch this on repeat for hours and hours and not get bored. I can’t help it! I’m hard-wired to be entranced by this sort of sci-fi stuff. It’s a so-bad-for-you treat for the eyes and ears, like guzzling custard straight out of the carton.

My only complaint is the quote from Yahoo! Games at the beginning. “If you’re not a fan, now is the time to start” feels more like a clunky and awkward command than a recommendation. “If you’re not a fan, you will be” works better in my not-so-humble opinion. I’m not saying the Yahoo! News writer who contributed that quote is a bad writer. I blame whatever PR person took it out of context. The music right at the start also suffers a tad from what I call “The Inception DUUUUUUUUUR” but that’s soon forgotten when the real epic music kicks in. The bit that kicks in at 1:17 especially, timed with the firing of big giant space guns, sends me all-a-quiver.

I think I need to go and lie down for a while. If anybody needs me, I’ll be in my bunk.


About Matt

Matt is the irresponsible degenerate behind bitscreed.com and the sarcastic writer, editor, director, presenter and tea boy of Pixel Burn.