Elder Scrolls MMORPG officially “a thing”

Another MMO? I can barely contain my excitement. See how excited I am. Oh joy. I can hardly wait.

Skyrim was a great game for antisocial loners who want to get away from it all. If you grew sick of the cities and the guards constantly moaning about that knee-related injury which ruined their career prospects, you could storm off in any direction and eventually find a picturesque vista miles from any living soul. Somewhere you could drop the weight of the world from your shoulders and take a moment to appreciate the simple things in the adventuring life. Smell the breeze, feel the snow thaw beneath your boots. Perhaps find a shallow cave, take out that wheel of cheese you’ve been saving along with some bread and fine Nord mead, and have yourself a little picnic.

Sounds beautiful doesn’t it? Now imagine that blissful solitude interrupted by someone dressed like a clown and shrieking racial abuse. Or worse still, spamming “I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER UNTIL I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE!” fifty-gajillion times in one minute. “I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER UNTIL I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE! I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER UNTIL I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE! I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER UNTIL I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE! I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER UNTIL I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE!” Non-stop from a gaudy verbal bilge-fountain controlled by an irritating teenage scrote cackling his bloated, hateful head off from hundreds or perhaps thousands of miles away.

If that sounds like a dream come true for you then you might enjoy The Elder Scrolls Online, Bethesda’s foray into the increasingly crowded massively-multiplayer-online-role-playing-game market (you might also enjoy self-trephination). Set 1000 years before the events of Skyrim, the plot of The Elder Scrolls Online revolves around the daedric prince Molag Bal trying to pull all of Tamriel into his hellish Oblivion realm as three player factions vie for control over Cyrodiil and the throne of the Emperor. All else we know so far is the game will have solo questing and public dungeons, along with some swords perhaps. Woo yay. Game Informer will have the full low-down on it in their June issue and they’ll be parcelling out a few titbits over the course of this month.

Despite my vocal objections to its numerous bugs and my ever-burning hatred of the Solitude Bard College I still loved Skyrim. Bethesda might have failed to coerce their Quality Assurance chimps into doing their jobs properly, but they succeeded brilliantly in creating a vast, immersive and simply breathtaking world to explore. It was a pretty static and unchanging world with about as much overall depth as a puddle, sure, but it was an explorer’s wet-dream in the best possible way. At almost any time you could say “sod this malarkey!” to the main quest and toddle off to explore hillbilly wizard shacks, or a bunch of random caves full of degenerate elves. Some places in Skyrim had not been touched by humans, orcs or elves in millennia and uncovering them made you feel like a real pioneer.

Where’s that sense of being a pioneer in an MMO? I have no incentive to explore: the number 1 thing I love doing in an Elder Scrolls game, when every inch of Tamriel will be charted in meticulous detail on a site like MMO Champion barely a day after the game goes live. I suppose the character customisation will be pretty decent so everyone can at least look unique. They’ll all be using the same cookie-cutter class specs from Elitist Jerks anyway but at least they’ll look different! Of course all this is merely wild supposition on my part. For all we know it could be pretty good. Meh, I’ve just outgrown MMOs as a genre. My experience with MMOs started with several years in Ultima Online and ended at Wrath of the Lich King for WoW, with some dabbling in EVE and Everquest in-between. I have neither the time nor the inclination to play them anymore so this news isn’t really for me.

Personally I think I’ll wait for Dong Guard – sorry, “Dawnguard”, download some mods from the Steam Workshop or load up my sporadic Oblivion playthrough if I need to scratch my Elder Scrolls itch. Speaking of mods, I’m still waiting for one that’ll let me burn down the Bards College with everyone trapped inside it so I can stand across the street and savour their screams. Mmmm the delicious screams of broken, buggy and plain-old fucking useless quest givers. I’d take that over an Elder Scrolls MMO anyday.

Source: Game Informer

Matt

About Matt

Matt is the irresponsible degenerate behind bitscreed.com and the sarcastic writer, editor, director, presenter and tea boy of Pixel Burn.