Skyrim Creation Kit due tomorrow

Prepare yourself Dovahkiin! For an influx of wolf-dongs, dancing bears and more naked ladies than you can shake an adventurous knee at.

Bethesda’s Creation Kit for Skyrim is due out tomorrow, somewhat later than its expected January release, to the delight of modders and would-be modders everywhere. The Creation Kit will put the exact same tools Bethesda used to create the world of Skyrim into the hands of ordinary players, giving them the power to reshape the land of Skyrim and bend its inhabitants to their will like some sort of mad God with a penchant for naked ladies. Have you always wished that Skyrim had a cave full of cheese populated by talking bears? Soon your dream could be a reality, crafted by your own grubby, cheese-fondling hands.

Until now modding Skyrim took a bit more hard work and determination than your average gamer possesses, and many of the few modders dedicated enough to get their hands dirty used that power to make the game dirty – except that one modder who gave Skyrim’s grubby female NPCs a damn good scrub. One of the first nude mods for Skyrim came out only a day after the game’s official release while the notorious Child Murder Mod took a bit longer, both achieved without any official modding support. It wasn’t all porn, infanticide and mysophobia however. Modders have also given us cool non-pervy stuff like invincible dwarven horse armour, tougher dragons and even a sweet little Dovahkiin hideout with a forge, for people like me who hated trudging for miles to the nearest blacksmith to forge a bunch of iron daggers.

The Creation Kit will also have full Steam Workshop integration. When you’ve finished constructing, say, your own murder shack in the woods or a sealed room full of faceless children that do nothing but point at the player and scream, you can slap it up on the Steam  Workshop and traumatise people within minutes. Other players will be able to browse for your mod, download it with a single mouse click and play it straight away. If that weren’t handy enough Steam will automatically download any updates or new versions of that mod as they’re released, saving you the hassle of scouring mod sites for new versions and praying they’re still compatible with all the others you’ve got. Bethesda say you’ll still be able to download and install user mods from sites like Skyrim Nexus, so if Steam Workshop ends up having restrictions on things like Thalmor Buggery and Dragon Dong mods you’ll have other options.

In addition to the Creation Kit Bethesda are promising a “special surprise,” possibly a hint at future DLC. Bethesda have also said they want to bring the weird and wonderful world of mods in all its unholy glory to as many people as possible including console owners, so it could be something relating to that. As goals go that might be somewhat over-ambitious yet still one I wholeheartedly support. As well as being able to build their own little Dovahkiin pad with a forge in every room, it’d be fantastic if console owners could also enjoy the inevitable community mod that fixes all the broken, buggy quests the game shipped with. It’s not like Bethesda themselves are going to sort that shit out any time soon. Failing that I’ll take a mod that lets me burn the useless sodding Bard’s College of Solitude to the ground and mount the tarred, severed heads of its quest givers above the city’s main gates for the crows to peck at.

Seriously, fuck the Bard’s College.

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Matt is the irresponsible degenerate behind and the sarcastic writer, editor, director, presenter and tea boy of Pixel Burn.